Sticky Notes' Notes

As I want to
I want to start this
whatever it is
without limit, barrier
Leave it be
one sided
or unrequited

I do

when he speaks
there's this calm feeling surrounding
He was the kind of man everyone would fall in love with, even if they didn't want to
I will cherish this feeling
the good feeling
-Jakarta, 1st January 2015



I don't know if it's okay trying to look smart by going on a circle of something blunt that I said.
I, the slow and not quite smart, myself.
At least, I'm not desperately trying to look smart like those guys did.
-Jakarta, 18th January 2015



It is pretty scary of what your mind can do to you
all the bad judgements and the unhappening things
when you're not there when everyone is
when you can only guess what they do and say
damn bad thoughts

-Jakarta, 24th May 2015 (The thyphus syndrome)

For once, I want him to feel the same sufferring feelings

the waiting, the expecting things, suffer like mad

Like, seriously

I want him to suffer

-Jakarta, 14th June 2015

Sebuah akhir kisah
dari cerita yang tidak berawal
Cerita ini semua tahu
Menurutku

Tapi tidak dengan dia
Dia yang buta akan segalanya
Hanya memiliki praduga

-Jakarta, 15th June 2015

BORN HATER

We're born nice but the life teaches us the word hate

All the hates that come from pain, sadness, humiliation jealousy anger 

All the hates that come from the reaction of every bad things that happens

Why react wiithb hate?

Because they're blind

That's the nice word for, yeah stupid

They don't know the reason

They don't know how to react

So they just, hating

They don't understand all the feelings, all the reason.

So stupid of blaming others and just

take the easy path, hate

-Jakarta, forgot to write the date

what a retarded fucking stink coward good-for-nothing piece of shit.

You dare doing something retarded like that to me. you will never ever get the chance again and DONT FUCKIN EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU FAT UGLY FAG.

I'm puking right now, at your face then I'll be throwing you at what you belong, just be a fuckin  pupuk you shit. 

Don't be a shitty shit, SHIT.

-Jakarta, curse the date fuck that day that's fuckin retarded lame shitty fat good for nothing guy

Don’t expect too much on something that was never meant for you.  It’ll only hurt you in the end. 

-Jakarta, when I know that I'm being baper for the little things he did

Yeah sometimes we're bothered by mere things that so horoudiously stupid.

-Jakarta, when I recalled the stupid things I've done

Either you are very desperate or it hurts too much

-Jakarta, when I realized I nearly confessed to the guy

semua cinta harus di ungkapkan, kecuali dengan orang yang terlalu mencintai dirinya sendiri

Jakarta, quote from Zafran 5cm

What up?

I hadn't go to French Class since, like a week ago. I don't know what's gotten into me but lately I felt reaaaally lazy and 'that' fire to learn it has been decreased, a lot. I am so guilty towards mom and dad. They pay quite a lot of money to take me in this class, and I am the one who ask it first.

I wanna tell you ren, but you're busy in the office, and I can't really trust other 'close friends'. Cus you know, they're either glad or don't care about it. well, more on the later I think. There are a couple of friends that I'm closed with but some friends are kindof (in my opinion) 'obliged' by surrounding to be closed to me. In fact, maybe they assume me as a 'complement' being who knows nothing but in fact, I was just so nervous around men (gay men are exception).

Talk about gay men, I'm not really sure but I often find gay men hot. Like as in Ezra Miller in 'The Perks of being A Wallflower' or Neil Patrick in How I met your mother or Kurt in Glee. Those guys are weirdly attractive in my eyes seriously. I always find someone and some things that are commonly weird, are hot or likeable.

Anyway, I don't know when and where I grow this insecurity but I just couldn't form a perfect normal and not awkward sentence with guys. I proved my theory by hanging out with my girl friends, I am a perfectly normal girl, with indifferent attitude towards the world. I tend to be the 'leader' when I'm with them, cus you know, they're so fragile, so cute, so noisy, and so everything i'm not.

Back to my french class, as my guilty plasure, I ask a friend from my high school who already got A2 in french to teach me there nyiahaha she's sooo nice and cool and kind seriously, it's free. Maybe I won't have to go to the next level in ifi, I just have to ask her to teach me in mediatech, there are a lot of VO books there in all levels, Am I right or right huh? What up!