So guysssss!
Tough shied I'll be damned freaking out.
The first phone interview of mine will be held on 5pm today. And based on the sender email's name, I did some stalking. He is some kind of successful guy who has a lot of achievement on linkedin. I'm getting more and more belittling my own self.
Why would that kind of guy in that kind of big company wants to hire this me who's in this kind of campus who doesnt even have the proper grammar of English.
WHY.
I'm irked. Freakedout. Dear God please help me.
And now is the time you remember God, huh, wretched you.
Fed up
You know it hurts and kind of lonely when you're the only one doing the hard work in the team.
He aint helping, he put all the distrust, all the blame if this project is not finished.
Like, I only have two hands, one brain and 18hours per day.
It is not like i'd be doing this project all day long without stopping.
But I did actually
excluding eating, taking a bath and dump.
Fuck I am fed up.
Fuck I want to call it quit.
Fuck.
I am in this so called startup as a co-founder
BUT.
He made it like I am just the employee
and he is the God fuckin employer
How wretched it is!
He aint helping, he put all the distrust, all the blame if this project is not finished.
Like, I only have two hands, one brain and 18hours per day.
It is not like i'd be doing this project all day long without stopping.
But I did actually
excluding eating, taking a bath and dump.
Fuck I am fed up.
Fuck I want to call it quit.
Fuck.
I am in this so called startup as a co-founder
BUT.
He made it like I am just the employee
and he is the God fuckin employer
How wretched it is!
First Time Turned In Hospital
It's crazy how a week of not talking or interacting with other people make you mad nuts like this. Like, every time before sleep you always think about useless things like robots, sending letter to robots or just robots. I even dreamt transformer-like dreams! And I dont even like robots that much. God!
Sticky Notes' Notes
As I want to
I want to start this
whatever it is
without limit, barrier
Leave it be
one sided
or unrequited
I do
when he speaks
there's this calm feeling surrounding
He was the kind of man everyone would fall in love with, even if they didn't want to
I will cherish this feeling
the good feeling
-Jakarta, 1st January 2015
I don't know if it's okay trying to look smart by going on a circle of something blunt that I said.
I, the slow and not quite smart, myself.
At least, I'm not desperately trying to look smart like those guys did.
-Jakarta, 18th January 2015
It is pretty scary of what your mind can do to you
all the bad judgements and the unhappening things
when you're not there when everyone is
when you can only guess what they do and say
damn bad thoughts
Sebuah akhir kisah
dari cerita yang tidak berawal
Cerita ini semua tahu
Menurutku
Tapi tidak dengan dia
Dia yang buta akan segalanya
Hanya memiliki praduga
-Jakarta, 15th June 2015
I want to start this
whatever it is
without limit, barrier
Leave it be
one sided
or unrequited
I do
when he speaks
there's this calm feeling surrounding
He was the kind of man everyone would fall in love with, even if they didn't want to
I will cherish this feeling
the good feeling
-Jakarta, 1st January 2015
I don't know if it's okay trying to look smart by going on a circle of something blunt that I said.
I, the slow and not quite smart, myself.
At least, I'm not desperately trying to look smart like those guys did.
-Jakarta, 18th January 2015
It is pretty scary of what your mind can do to you
all the bad judgements and the unhappening things
when you're not there when everyone is
when you can only guess what they do and say
damn bad thoughts
-Jakarta, 24th May 2015 (The thyphus syndrome)
For once, I want him to feel the same sufferring feelings
the waiting, the expecting things, suffer like mad
Like, seriously
I want him to suffer
-Jakarta, 14th June 2015
Sebuah akhir kisah
dari cerita yang tidak berawal
Cerita ini semua tahu
Menurutku
Tapi tidak dengan dia
Dia yang buta akan segalanya
Hanya memiliki praduga
-Jakarta, 15th June 2015
BORN HATER
We're born nice but the life teaches us the word hate
All the hates that come from pain, sadness, humiliation jealousy anger
All the hates that come from the reaction of every bad things that happens
Why react wiithb hate?
Because they're blind
That's the nice word for, yeah stupid
They don't know the reason
They don't know how to react
So they just, hating
They don't understand all the feelings, all the reason.
So stupid of blaming others and just
take the easy path, hate
-Jakarta, forgot to write the date
what a retarded fucking stink coward good-for-nothing piece of shit.
You dare doing something retarded like that to me. you will never ever get the chance again and DONT FUCKIN EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU FAT UGLY FAG.
I'm puking right now, at your face then I'll be throwing you at what you belong, just be a fuckin pupuk you shit.
Don't be a shitty shit, SHIT.
-Jakarta, curse the date fuck that day that's fuckin retarded lame shitty fat good for nothing guy
Don’t expect too much on something that was never meant for you. It’ll only hurt you in the end.
-Jakarta, when I know that I'm being baper for the little things he did
Yeah sometimes we're bothered by mere things that so horoudiously stupid.
-Jakarta, when I recalled the stupid things I've done
Either you are very desperate or it hurts too much
-Jakarta, when I realized I nearly confessed to the guy
semua cinta harus di ungkapkan, kecuali dengan orang yang terlalu mencintai dirinya sendiri
Jakarta, quote from Zafran 5cm
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